Tombstone
by LouieGee
Summary: Set after season II so yeah it'll get better promise, oh yes it already has
1. I know it's been a while

_**Disclamier:**_ Own south of nothing

Well here it is, the story that is set after season 2, god it feels good to write but i hated the season finale, god i hated it with a passion like a real strong passion, well anyway yeah umm enjoy its def. going the way i want it to go but english still bad so eyah im working on it though so anyway enjoy it oh and happy holidays once again

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God, I can't believe your dead, I miss you so much, I wish they would've shot Glen instead of you, I know it's wrong to think but, now Chelsea is left without you the baby has no father, I'm left without my favorite brother, I mean I love Glen and all but you were always my favorite. Sure they say blood is thicker than water but fuck that, I loved you so much 

I know you're looking down at us and taking care of each and every one of us, especially Chelsea and her baby. God 7 months pregnant, and she is definitely showing, If I knew any better I would think she s having twins. Maybe she is, maybe you left us two reminders of you instead of one

So I guess you want me to catch you up on things that have been happening lately since that night, the night everyone lost something. Something important to them. First of all sorry, I know I haven't visited you since you were in the hospital. I know but I hated the fact that you weren't home anymore.

It's been 6 months, I know a long time but hey better late than never right bro. Well lets start with Chelsea I guess, she's fine, 7 months like I said, and Sean is taking care of her. She is living in your old room, but she usually sleeps in my room with me. She can't take being in your room that much, but she's getting used to it more and more. And Cecily is helping her too, everyone is helping her, mom is unusually helpful, making sure everything is ok with her and stuff.

Sean like I said is helping Chelsea, after all he says you two were like brothers. He is working part-time at Gray's. He is a DJ and a very good one at that. His cousin Boz is in jail, still doing time for what he did to those Northridge fools that did this to you. Everyone was involved in it. But Boz took all the blame. And when I say everyone I mean like everyone.

Me, Dad, Mom, Glen, Sean, Ashley, Kyle, Aiden, and some underground crew that apparently you were part of. I never knew but since you did chill with Sean and Boz a lot I should've assumed you were part of some click. A lot of people were at the funeral, well I was told, everyone from the crew, I heard about 50 people. Just of your crew and about 25 family and friends.

Everyone that was involved in the King High shooting was taken care of, and Boz was the only one caught, well he basically gave himself in, he too the blame, he distracted the police while Sean ran hard. One of the crew, JC, was killed, but that was it. But he died a hero. Anyway, so yeah a lot of help and revenge is sweet I must say. But no matter what you're still gone.

Glen thought about starting those drugs again when you died, but we were here for him. Mom, Dad, and I, we controlled him and he is completely cured now. He is actually a lot nicer to me and well everyone is general. He is in the army right now but before he left he met a really nice girl, her name is Jessica. And I must say she is hot.

Yes I'm still confused as mom might say. Ha ha. Dad has been taking his job a lot more serious. Staying late nights and really helping people with their problems. A part of me thinks it's because he doesn't want to be home, because it reminds him of you but another part of me is saying that he is doing it because he doesn't want this to happen to any other family.

Mom, has changed, she has been there more for me and Glen, and I don't know why. She has pretty much changed completely except for the fact of my sexual orientation. But that's fine, I actually want someone against it, that way it makes it seem a little dirty, I'm not as innocent as I was before. God, I wish you could see me now.

Madison, well, she's changed her obsession, when she said Aiden wasn't in love with Kyla, she was right, well anyway, Madison is after Glen, I mean when he said he was going to join the army, and apparently she finds that hot, obsessingly hot. She has been trying to break up Glen and Jessica but has failed horribly many times, and well maybe Glen has actually found the one.

And speaking of love, I guess you want to find out what's with me, Ashley, Aiden, and Kyla. Well its very complex and stuff and a long story but you're not going anywhere huh. I'm sorry Clay, I know you and dad thought I was just so strong but with you not here I can't help it. Anyway, Oh crap there she is, and she's waiting for me, exactly on time, at least she's precise. I guess I'll finish this tomorrow with you, I promise to show up and finish this little update.

Well I guess she does love me, she's coming her to make sure I'm alright but I don't want her to see me like this so I will definitely come tomorrow bro I love you.


	2. Memories I

**_Disclaimer:_** I own south of nadda

Hey guys, sorry for the taking so long to update thing, i know where i want this to go and i knew what i wanted to do, but i had a hard time putting it down, like the idea was just hard to plan out and stuff or something like that. Well anyway here you go, and next chapter promise longer, i just had some trouble with this one oh and Happy New Year and stuff and yes first post of the new year for me and I'll update the other two stories ASAP ok oh and i hated the SON season finale once again :)and review please to let me know if i should continue or end this ASAP ok

For those who asked me why clay, well to tell you the truth i think he got shot, maybe he wont die but i think he got shot for many reasons, some of them are because when they take the body away the upper chest area seems like it's a male, also the feet/shoes under that sheet, and they call the Carlin home, Spencer and Ashley were being covered by Aiden it could be Aiden and the phone call to the Carlin home could be because the need the bitch... i mean Paula at the hospital, or maybe even glen because he did get involved in that fight, maybe they aimed at him too but i think it's clay, they need drama they got more, Chelsea without a father for her child how much more drama could they have, well besides the whole Spashley deal, oh but anyway the guy who dies is most likely Boz but i still think it's Clay. I have more reasons but I'll write them next chapter cause I basically study the last episode and just pray that Spashley lives.Well those are my two cents. Well actually like my fifty cents since i wrote so much anyway...on with the update

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"Hey Bro" 

"Umm, sorry I didn't come yesterday, I was, well I was with her, just and her yesterday. I did really want to come but I couldn't get out of bed, so I just laid there with her. Just taking in her scent, burning her image into my brain and holding her as close to me as humanly possible, with the occasional update to mom, and when I say update I mean complete and utter lie. And well me and her just, actually, you know what, just forget it, it won't happen again bro."

I can feel a tear in my eye but no, I can't cry. I promised that I wouldn't cry no matter what, I promised I was going to be strong today, I just can't cry I promised myself but most of all I promised her.

"So, as you can tell, I'm actually talking to you today, instead of just thinking to you, or uhh, whatever it's called. Umm, she told me it would make me feel better, you know, the talking to you out loud thing, and I guess it does make me fell a little better, well I guess she used to do this when she lost her…"

I can feel the tears coming down my face but no I can't I try to hold it in. I can't cry, I just can't. I think of her and how strong she's made me and then I stop crying, god she really is my everything.

"Yeah, I know what it sounds like, it sounds like I'm obsessed over her and well, maybe I am, but I mean who wouldn't be when you first look at her, that body, those eyes, that face. She is just everything I could've ever asked for, everything I need and want and of course now things are most complicated between us."

"Everything has just been crazy you know, between us since prom and the shooting, especially for me when I found out you were gone, mom and dad lied to me saying you were going to be fine, actually if I hadn't spoken with the funeral home I wouldn't even have known. God, you being gone, me and her, mom and dad fighting all the time, well when he's home, and Glen going to war, it all just seems likes yesterday since the night that changed all of our lives, you know."

"_Then just decide!" I scream out with all my energy. I just want her to decide, I need to know if this, if us, is going to work forever or if it is just a substitute for what she used to have with Aiden._

"_Gun!" I hear someone scream, it sounds like Boz. Then everything seems to go in slow motion, I can see the first shot being fired and it's heading towards Boz, and I look over at Ashley and then I hear more shots being fired. I can practically see the bullets leaving the barrels of the guns and I see them all scatter in different direction, one even whizzing close by me. I look at Ashley once more and see she's so scared she's not reacting at all, I get ready to leap onto her to protect her from the bullets when..._

"_Aiden" she screams and then I just freeze. Thinking she has just chosen between her girlfriend and her best friend love and she ahs chosen the best friend. And even if that wasn't exactly saying she was choosing him apparently his safety mattered more to her than my own._

_Next thing I know I being jumped over and being pushed to the ground as Aiden jumps over me and Ashley, but right before I hit the ground I feel a pain in my calf, next thing I know I feel numb and tired and everything goes black._

I can't cry, there is no way I'm crying over it again no, "Well, I guess you want to know what happens when I wake up."

_I wake up and see a very beautiful brunette sitting beside me, she is looking at her shoes as if she takes her eyes off of them they might run away and she has my hand in between both of hers. With her head down I see the wall and realize it white, which means we aren't in my room and just the fact that I can see the walls confirms that it isn't her room. You know with all the posters she has up in her room and then I start to worry, where the hell am I?_

"_Where am I?" The brunette looks at me and I can see she's been crying, oh she looks so vulnerable right now, she also looks like she hasn't slept in days, and then she open her mouth I assume to say something but then closes it again, and does this a couple more times before it starts to get on my nerves and then she clears her throat and I know she I ready to talk._

"_You're in the hospital Spencer" Then I start to worry, she hasn't said my complete first name since we've been together, always Spencer, or the occasional baby, sweet heart, love, honey, anything really but Spencer?_

_I look deep into her eyes to see why she has been crying and why she just called me Spencer, and I can see there is something wrong, it looks like guilt, she feels like she has done something horribly wrong or is about to and is regretting it._

"_Baby, are you okay?" I ask her worried, and she just nods as a response. I can tell she is not okay, what if she feels guilty that I'm in the hospital and she is blaming herself well I can't let her think that._

_But then it comes to me, moment before I completely blanked out she had to decide who she loved, and as I can recall she had said Aiden. I think to myself and put everything together all the pieces to remember exactly why I'm here. Everything comes back to me piece by piece as I put it all together. First thing I remember is Ashley looking very hot and me wanting her right then and there and next thing I know Aiden says he loves Ashley and then she takes me out my daze as she speaks._

"_Spencer, we need to talk."_

"_Get out!" I yell at her, she looks at me confused, probably because I've never yelled at her like that and then I can tell she knows why I have just kicked her out, and instead of telling me that its not true or something telling me what I assume is not true all she says is a simple…_

"_Sorry" and she breaks down, I want to comfort her but I can't I now know I am not hers and she is not mine so right now I have the power to not care anymore about her or her problems. When were together I would take on her problems but now Aiden can do that._

"_Spencer, you don't understand I'm doing this for us." I look at her completely confused._

"_What do you mean for us? I don't know how getting back with your ex is going to help us, can u please enlighten me, and tell me how the fuck is you getting together with Aiden going to fucking help us, because all I can see right now is it is breaking us up and the last time I checked breaking up is taking a step backwards from being girlfriend and girlfriend." I yelled so loud my mom walked in and wondered what was going on, she saw Ashley there head down crying and my face burning red and she looked at me and I looked at her and she mouthed if I was okay and I nodded and she left the room._

"_Spencer, when you asked me to decide, I was going to choose you, because I love you and only you, but well Aiden was shot too and I went to go see him yesterday and he told me just to give him a chance and well, I told him okay but only to prove that I am in fact in love with you, so can we just be friends for now." I looked at her confused because Aiden had saved Ashley's and my life apparently and I couldn't be mad at Aiden he saved the love of my life's live and now I knew what she had just said made sense. It was out of pity and to make sure of her feelings, but what if she actually found out she wasn't 100 in this. Or maybe she is lying to me right now._

"_Ashley, Ash" I saw a smile creep on her face._

"_I'm sorry, I can't" And I saw her die inside, I saw her beautiful chocolate eyes lose their color, I saw her smile turn into the saddest frown ever, I saw my baby literally die. And the fact that I had just caused it killed me inside. It's not what I had meant to say but it just came out this way, my mind was taking control of my heart at the moment, I guess I was saving myself for more pain later when she realized she was still in love with Aiden, I mean I have the seen the secret glances, their history, I can't go up against that, I don't even stand a chance._

"_Ash, I didn't mean it like that" God I hated myself that I had said that_

"_Then what the fuck did you mean" I saw her at her most vulnerable, her walls were completely down but not because she was going to let me in, but because she was going to go all out, she was going to let out everything, and then just close up again, like a volcano she was about to explode, and then..._

I can hear a honking of a horn and I look around to see her in the car. I look at my watch and realize that she is exactly on time, god how she has changed for me, I really do love her.

"Well bro, until tomorrow."

"I love you"


	3. The Diary

**_Disclaimer:_** _Still own nothing except for my other story, which you should def check it out, i heard on the street that it's hott_

Yeah two updates on day, and sorry about the other story, it's not so much writers block as it is laziness, i wrote like 10 pages and stuff but i lost it so i had to start from scratch especially with my horrible memory, couldn't remember anything, ahh, well anyway enjoy and stuff, i still like my other post better but anyway i still hate the Son season fianle but I love the reviews, so R&R to let me know if i should continue this story._  
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"Umm… Hey Bro" 

"Yes I still feel awkward talking to you like this, well I actually brought you something today." I smile, but I know it's fake, anyone could tell, god why did you take him, he was the good brother, maybe not by blood, but he was my other rock, my back-up rock.

"Here it is" I place my diary on the patch of dirt in front of the tombstone.

"It's my diary, as you can tell, well I started this one after you died. And well, it's filled up, I wrote down everything I did that day that reminded me of you, and well most of what I did everyday reminded me somehow of you. Everything that I did in memory of you and stuff. And well I stopped writing in it the day I visited you, like 3 days ago. For two reasons, umm, one because there was only one blank page left and because I wanted to start a new one right after seeing you, so I brought it too so u can see what I write about my visits when I come here."

"Well anyway, the old one had a blank page but if you look at the last page." I open the diary to the last page and it says

_To Clay _

_the bestest big brother ever_

with a big heart around it. I giggle a bit, which is a lot to say since I haven't even smiled in a while now. I look around to make sure no one is around then I just lay on the patch of dirt and just hug the earth. And I can feel Clay there, just hugging me back, I can feel the warmness from him and it feels so good.

"Well in the new diary I write about is what I talk to you about, like yesterday as soon as she took me home I wrote what we talked about and I have it right here the last thing we talked about is Ashley about to explode in the hospital when I told her I couldn't just sit back and watch her give Aiden another chance."

"See I have it written down"

"_Then what the fuck did you mean" She screamed. I saw her at her most vulnerable, her walls were completely down but not because she was going to let me in, but because she was going to go all out, she was going to let out everything, and then just close up again, like a volcano she was about to explode, and then we were interrupted by my love. She honked the horn and I promised Clay I would finish telling him the story tomorrow._

"So I guess I should finish telling you what happened." God it's just so hard to remember such pain, ahh, but it's for Clay, he would do the same for me, well if he was gay and had some relationship problems.

_She was about to explode and then she just got on her knees and begged._

"_Please Spencer don't do this to me, I'll tell Aiden no, just don't tell me we can't do this, I'll go over right now and just tell him that I can't do this because I'm already madly in love with Spencer."_

_I looked at her and she was actually begging, but I couldn't I know she still had feelings for him, me just ignoring them would make it worse for us in the future. I get out of my bed and go down with her and give her a big hug and think of how I can word this without hurting her more than she has already been hurt._

"_Ashley, just the fact that you didn't say no to him as soon as he asked you makes me think you still have feelings for him, and you have to go for it, because in the end I don't want you to regret your decision." I look at her and just give her a quick peck on the lips, a good-bye kiss, the last kiss we will ever share, it had to be quick, but loving at the same time, and she just touches her lips and starts crying, I get up and back on my bed and she just sobs on the floor._

"_No Spencer" She yells, "I don't want this to be good-bye."_

"_Ashley you said good-bye first" My eyes start to tear, why am I doing this, I should be happy she has just chosen me, but no, she should've said that right then and there, not after I've been shot and after she said she would go out with Aiden._

"_No Spencer, please, another chance, please, don't say good-bye" I look at her with saddened eyes and I just turn away from her and start crying._

"_Spencer look at me" She whispers and I ignore her as hard as I can._

"_Spencer look at me" She said a little higher this time_

"_Spencer look at me" She screamed and grabbed my two shoulders and turned me towards her_

_She looked at me and saw the fear in my eyes, she stepped back and mouthed a sorry to me. I just continued to cry and she came up to me and kissed me so passionately I was just so lost in the kiss I didn't even realize that she ended it._

_She looked at me with so much fire in her eyes, she was going to make sure she wasn't going to lose me._

"_Tell me you don't love me and I'll leave you alone." I looked at her confused, I never said I didn't love her, never not once._

"_Ashley I never said I didn't love you, I love you with all my heart, without you I wouldn't be happy, but that's because I thought you were happy with me, the only reason I would be happy knowing that you are happy with me, but you're not if u never figure out your feelings for Aiden." I look at her and she understands, and now she is regretting ever telling Aiden that he would give him a chance._

"_So, no matter what we wont end up together." I look at her and I don't know how to answer that._

"_Maybe in the future, when we've both experienced it all and we've both realized that we need each other, well when you realize you need me anyway." I look at her and she just runs out of the room. And now I feel it, the consequences of losing Ashley. God does it hurt, I feel like someone took my heart and just cracked it into a million pieces then took each one of those pieces and destroyed it into a million more pieces._

Well I left the hospital about a week later, and didn't hear from Ashley, but from outside sources I found out that she did go out on a date with Aiden. And that they went out on a second date, and a third and a fourth, that week I was in the hospital. I left the hospital but not before one of the nurses said they were holding a letter for me for about a week now and had to give it to when I left. I took the letter and opened it and read it.

Dear Spencer,

I want you to know, although we are not together, I love you and I always will. No matter what I do, or what you do, I will never stop loving you, never, and I will go on that date with Aiden, but I will be thinking about you the whole time, and I wont do anything I will regret. Spencer, I have waited for you before and I will wait for you for a lifetime, and the prize is always worth the wait.

Love

forever,

Ashley

I read it and smiled, knowing that those four dates she had with Aiden, she was thinking about me the whole time. Well I hoped she was. Then about a week and 5 more dates for the new couple, I started to doubt she still cared about me, I mean she was with Aiden, apparently they clicked better than I thought. But I was surprised that night.

_The doorbell rang, and I thought who could have come back home so early, I mean mom and dad went out to dinner together to rekindle their love while Glen is always out and Clay is well not with us anymore. I'm home alone and a little freaked out that someone is ringing the doorbell. I head downstairs and open the door and Ashley is standing there, crying._

_It broke my heart all over again, seeing the love of my life crying, I opened my arms and she walked over to me and I gave her the biggest hug I could to let her know it was all going to be all right. I led her upstairs to my room and opened the cover for her, I took off her shirt and her jeans, and she got under the covers, I did the same so that we were both in just bra's and panties and I laid down next to her under the covers and just held her close. _

_I kissed her lips, and god did it feel so good after two weeks to finally kiss her. She responded by kissing me back, and then she started playing with my breasts. Just cupping them and squeezing them and I let out a moan. _

_Apparently that was a sign for her to keep going, she then started touching my abs, and it just gave me shivers, she reached out behind me and unhooked my bra and put my nipple into her mouth. She knew exactly how to please me, she has known since the first time we had done this. She takes two fingers and inserts them in me, and she thrusts in and out, my panties are sort of in the way, so I stop her, and take off my panties before taking her hand and bringing it back down to my wetness._

_I start to scream, no one is home so who cares right? I kiss her and scream her name, knowing she loves when I do that, and with one final thrust she makes me climax. I just lay there tired, while she still caresses both my breast one with her hand and the other with her mouth._

_She kisses my jaw line and then my lips. She then gets up and heads out of my room. I wonder where she is going to go, in bra and panties. I put a towel on and follow her, my knees still weak making it hard to walk, and she goes into the bathroom, she closes the door behind her but not locking it. I hear the shower start, she probably doesn't expect me to pay her back for what she just did, so she's taking a cold shower to relieve it. But no I owe her big time so I walk I and lock the door behind me._

_I take off the towel and go in the shower and she looks at me surprised. I crash my lips into hers and immediately stick two fingers into her wetness. She scream my name, and god I just get all hot again. I can feel it between my legs, just her voice turns me on._

_I put her nipple in my mouth while I still have fingers inside of her. I trace kisses all along her body on the way up to my destination, those delicious lips. I bite her lip, pulling it with me. She loves when I do that, and I can still tell it has the same affect on her. She surprises me as she inserts two fingers into me as well. _

_I want to tell her this is all about her right now, I already had my turn, but she just wont hear it, probably because I'm moaning so much I probably haven't even said it. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me as I use her own weight against her by pushing three fingers into her. I capture her lips just as she screams._

_And just like that she reaches her point, and she looks just so tired._

"_Spence, I love you" It surprises me sort of, but not because I don't feel the same way just because I haven't heard it in a while._

"_I love you to Ash" I respond, and put the towel I had on around her naked body, I slap her butt indicating to get out of the bathroom and head to my room, she lets out a small scream, as I do it again but this time squeezing her but on the way out._

_Then I hear the front door open and close as I hear my dad's voice._

"_Honey, we're home" I then run to my room and pull Ashley in and lock the door._

"_Ok dad, I'm just in my room, I'm going to bed now"_

"_Okay Honey, I'll make you breakfast tomorrow" I just smile and respond_

"_Thanks dad, and goodnight mom"_

"_Goodnight Spence" I look over to my bed to see Ashley just laying there in a towel, I pull her up, remove the covers, take off her towel, lay her back down and cover her with the blanket. I go in with her, seeing as I'm already naked and wet I might add, and we just lay there, I turn my back to her, and she just wraps her arm around me._

"_I meant it you know" I smile knowing what she is talking about._

"_Me too" _

"_So where does this leave us?" She asks and I just respond simply_

"Sorry Clay, but I have to go, I have to meet up with her at 5, and I'm already running late, I promise to come day after tomorrow, and I'll come with her and finish up our little catching up, and I won't forget where we left off see I'm writing it in the diary."


End file.
